What is preventing you from asking for help?

What is going on in your life?

Stressful relationships, anxiety, depression, work problems, mental health concerns and many more situations can become too overwhelming for us to even think about clearly, let alone change effectively.

There are so many reasons why people avoid or put off asking for help. Maybe they are self-conscious, embarrassed, scared of the consequences or of looking weak. I am currently doing some writing on this topic because I too used to be someone who avoiding asking for help – almost at all costs. In fact I still find it hard, but I’m better at it.

Unfortunately when something serious is going on, the chances of it getting better on its own is low. So what is stopping you?

Do you really want the current situation to be the same tomorrow, next week or next year?

Are other people getting hurt as well?

Maybe it’s time to take a good hard look at things – consider all your options. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who is outside the situation, as friends and family can be too emotionally involved themselves, and not able to give balanced advice.

Don’t forget that you do not have to tell people everything – only what you are comfortable disclosing at that time.

Most importantly, if you do not feel safe in your situation please tell someone soon. 

Don’t forget to check out my therapy e-books

The First Steps…

Many people are not really sure how to start changing things in their life, and the reality is we often have a few things to do first. In fact, most of us have things we haven’t properly dealt with from our past, or may be holding on to circumstances (or people) that we know are not good for us.

Given that it is not always possible to get to a therapist, or someone similar, we need other options to start us off.

  1. Prepare to be your own rescuer. Others may help, but we usually have to do the hard stuff ourselves.
  2. If you have medical stuff that you have not dealt with – go and sort it out. Same goes for serious mental health concerns and addictions. If you need extra help please ask. It show strength to admit what is really going for us – not weakness.
  3. Identify the people who are going to help you. It might be an old friend, an aunt you haven’t seen in a while, your partner or even an online community – anyone. Crucially though, they need to be stable and secure in their lives in order to be able to support you well.
  4. Be realistic. It is not possible to change everything at once. Identify the most important things that need to change now. Start with safety. Are you safe at the moment? mentally and physically? Don’t worry about the smaller stuff right now. The small things often get better when the big things have been dealt with.
  5. Start thinking about the things that make you feel good – the healthy things. Do you like music, sports, baking? These things are going to help you move forward because are good for you. More on this later.


Don’t forget – every situation can be tweaked. It may take something quite small to make you happier, or it might be a huge change. Either way, you can make it happen. 

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